I’ve been in a relationship for the past few months and things have been going great.  We have a great time together and seem to be able to just be ourselves when we hang out.   We’ve even got to the point of discussing the future together.  Marrige, havin’ a kid … you know, just the kind of thing two people that love each other and wanna move on to the next step together would be talkin’ about…

I never really thought I’d find love again.  As you can view from my previous blog entries over the years — things just never seem to work out.  I’m not sure if it’s been the girls I pick that end up being just generally ‘wrong’ for me, or if it’s me destroying something everytime.  I know that usually there’s just not been enough for me to want to continue a relationship beyond a certain point.

So, anyway — for those of you thinking this is some sort of happy ending story, I don’t know that you’ll get that.  See… Something happened.  I don’t know what … Can’t place my finger on it … But something happened and suddenly, almost overnight, our relationship has been turned upside fuckin’ down.  I dunno if it’s over yet - but I can’t seem to get any real words out of her.

She’s completly freaked out — She has a lot of stress in her life, mostly financial, and that’s been taking a toll on her, but I’m now in a position where I can help her — we can work like a family and solve a lot of problems.  But suddenly, as that option started becoming a reality, it seems she’s bolting.  Running like the fuckin’ wind going nowhere good.

I’m in such a living hell right now — dying inside — unable to focus on anything — work is like torture, the minute I start getting something done, her face pops into my mind and I just can’t function.

Someone fuckin’ save me before I loose my goddamn mind!

In general, I guess I just want things to flow evenly in both directions.

A little give, a little take.  Seems fair right?

So yeah, I’ve been a bit silent recently. Lot going on, but no motivation to write about it.

What is this un-Thanksgiving thing?  Well, it’s all the food, none of the family bullshit.  We get together, eat a lot and drink a bit — but thats about where the similarities to a regular Thanksgiving end.  The conversation around the table tends to fall into categories that wouldn’t normally be discussed around family.  Porn, farts, music and “who’s fucking who” (don’t ask).  The beverage of choice is beer, served in the can or bottle it was purchased in, and the empties turn into the centerpiece as the night goes on.

As an added bonus:  This year we got snow — about 6 inches of it.  Perfect!

On that note, I’m off to prepare for this evenings festivities — Karaoke Poker Night. :D  So much CDG downloading to do!

FIVE FINGER!
DEATH PUNCH!
FIVE FINGER!
DEATH PUNCH!

A word about the Intersection…  For those of you that haven’t been there since they’ve moved into their new locale, you’re in for a surprise.  Gone is the old, grungy, long-bar setup with the ancient phone booth.  The new joint is brand spankin’ new and is huge — but as with all things new, it has no character — no charm at all.  It’s a yuppy lounge up front and a huge concrete floored concert hall in back.  Nice place to see a show, I suppose, but I miss the old Intersection.

I have to say that I’m absolutely amazed by this show.  Everything from the writing to the wardrobe is nothing less than spot-on perfect.  And, yes … As much as it pains me to say it, even Mary Kate Olsen manages to add another level of depth to the show.

Tonight, after a group of my friends and I were dropped off by our designated driver, he was pulled over for no apparent reason. He wasn’t speeding, used his turn signals, came to complete stops and drove as well as any sober person on the road is expected to.

Once pulled over, he did not smell of intoxicants, didn’t slur his words, provided the officer with proper ID, registration and proof of insurance. He was polite to the officer and did everything by the book. Even after all of this, he was still asked out of his car to do a series of sobriety tests, which he passed with flying colors, and then asked to take a Breathalyzer (Breath Alcohol Test) which showed a negligible .003 (a .080 is the legal limit in Michigan, and a .003 is equal to a glass of grape juice being consumed).

Even after jumping through all the hoops, he was still detained for over 20 minutes while the police did god-knows-what in their car.

So, is this police doing their job or is it misconduct?

What makes it worse is that Saturday night, another friend of mine suffered through a very similar situation. He did manage to get the cops to give him a reason for being pulled over — which was, get this, because he used his brights and didn’t turn them off fast enough when another car was coming from the opposite direction. In other words, they saw him leaving a bar and decided to use whatever excuse they could to pull him over.

I just don’t get it — I love the police for protecting the public from drunk drivers, but how far is too far? Where is the line between duty and our rights to move about freely without being harassed? Do we turn a blind eye because they’re just trying to keep us safe? Should the police be accountable for haphazardly pulling people over and subjecting them to sobriety tests without any probable cause?

What can I say … Some tracks are exactly what I expected, others stray away from what I had invisioned, but in a good way.

Imagine Nine Inch Nails, Massive Attack, Public Enemy, Seal and The Blue Man Group or Cirque du Soleil all stranded on a Carribean island with nothing but Trent Reznors iBook Pro and some studio mics.

The tracks range from mellow and minimalist to insane and chaotic. Each of the tracks carry a common thread that is unmistakably Trent Reznor — A few tracks reek of NiN so much they would be just as comfortable sharing CD surface area with Head Like a Hole or Vessel.

This release includes a cover of Sunday Bloody Sunday that was obviously the work of Trent Reznor himself — it’s a great track and gives Mr. Williams an instant radio-ready launch pad to the mainstream, but frankly I’d rather hear Mr. Reznor on vocals.

Time to get some work done while I run this on repeat for a few hours and let the music sink in and get a big more familiar.

YouTube Video: Link

Lyrics:

He wears his heart
safety pinned to his backpack
His backpack is all that he knows
Shot down by strangers
whose glances can cripple
the heart and devour the soul

All alone he turns to stone
while holding his breath half to death
Terrified of whats inside
to save his life he crawls
like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm from a bird

Out of his mind away
pushes him whispering
must have been out of his mind
mid-day delusions of pushing this out of his head
maybe out of his mind

All alone he turns to stone
while holding his breath half to death
Terrified of whats inside
to save his life he
crawls like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm from a bird

All he knows
If he can’t relieve it it grows
and so it goes
he crawls like a worm
crawls like a worm from the bird

Out of his mind away
pushes him whispering
must have been out of his mind

All alone he turns to stone
while holding his breath half to death
Terrified of whats inside
to save his life he crawls
like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm from a bird

All alone
he’s holding his breath half to death
Terrified to save his life
he crawls like a worm
Crawls like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm
crawls like a worm
crawls like a worm from a bird

That said, I was a little disappointed with the series closer — the whole thing seemed a bit … forced. A little too fairytale-ish. I couldn’t help but think of Niles and Daphne (Frasier).