Keys … Suck

So, yeah – I’ve got this friend. Great girl, but every time we go out, she looses her keys. You may recall a short while back I had to kick her door in at some crazy hour ’cause she lost her keys….The keys

Ok, so tonight, I decide that I’ll be the one responsible for the keys.

Kids: Don’t ever be responsible for the keys.

I lost ‘em. I’m pretty sure I know where it happened, but … Man, do I feel like an ass.

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What happens to the guy left behind at the alter?

Product Image: The Baxter
My rating: 5 out of 5

A great romantic comedy. Maybe it’s my mood today, or maybe it’s because some of the situations in this film seemed familiar, but I just couldn’t take my eyes off this one.

Oh, and … Michelle Williams makes me wish I was an Accountant.

This charming romantic comedy, starring Michael Showalter (Signs, TV’s “Stella”), Michelle Willaims (TV’s “Dawson’s Creek”), Elizabeth Banks (Spider-Man, Heights) and Michael Ian Black (TV’s “Ed” and “I Love the ’80s”), is the story of Elliot Sherman, a conservative, risk-averse guy who is the quintessential “Baxter” – the guy who never actually gets the girl. More anxious than ever before his wedding to Caroline, the girl of his dreams, the arrival of her hunky ex-boyfriend does nothing to ease his fears. But, this time Elliot meets someone who can help. His eccentric temp is wild at heart and full of romantic advice. Maybe this time, Elliot will allude being “The Baxter,” and even end up with the girl of his dreams.

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I think it’s official…

I think I’m done.

It amazes me to no end how self-absorbed and selfish some people are.

What gets me is, it’s not the outwardly self-obsessed people that end up being the worst offenders. It’s not the ones that have had to work hard every day of their lives to get what they have. It’s the friends that have grown up with everything they’d ever want, every opportunity handed to them, that just can’t stop thinking about themselves and how everything affects them.

Ya know, maybe I’ll regret saying this… Maybe It’s the flu that’s got me down… But, fuckit… I have one thing to say to you, my spoiled rotten so-called-friend:

FUCK YOU. GET OVER YOURSELF. You’re life isn’t difficult and your family problems are no worse than what most people in this fucked up world have to deal with.

You’re daddy never gave you enough attention? Guess what? Neither did mine and I’m guessing most people you ask will say the same damn thing. I know you want it to be, but your situation is not the least bit special.

You’re spoiled, you’ve caused every problem you’ve had, and your life sucks because you make it suck.

You have no real friends because you don’t know how to be a real friend. You’ll never have love in your life because you can’t comprehend that the love you wanna get is the love you’ll have to give.

You live life like it’s a one-way street.

Yeah, I know – I’m a mother-fuckin’ asshole…

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Most Disturbing Video of the Year

This damn video is bound to give you nightmares like the ones I usually have. Enjoy, and your welcome!
Rubber Johnny
Aphex Twin – Rubber Johnny

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Dressing

Nude Christmas

This one just caught my eye … So here it is.

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Not so hypnotizing…

Product Image: System of a Down:  Hypnotize
My rating: 3 out of 5

System of a Down has been a bit of an aquired taste for me. I’ve always had to listen to their records a few times before really feelin’ any of the tracks. Hypnotize is no exception, except I’m not really feelin’ any of the tracks yet. Maybe another half dozen listens and it’ll grow on me, but for now, I just can’t get into this disc.

On the surface, this release feels a lot like everything else we’ve heard from Serj and the boys. However, unlike their previous material, Hypnotize just seems … Rushed. The tracks just don’t have the depth that previous efforts seemed to carry.

I may have to to give this one a bit more time in the Nano befor passing final judgment, but for right now I just can’t give this anything more than a solid 2.5-3 out of 5. But who the fuck am I to be reviewing a CD anyway, right?

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The Ringer

Product Image: The Ringer
My rating: 1 out of 5

What exactly can I say about this movie.

It’s not without it’s positive points. Uhm … It shows that ‘tards can, in fact, be better actors than Johnny Knoxville … It’s got Katherine Heigl in it … Thats sums up the positives column.

Really, if it wasn’t for Ms. Heigl, I probably would have walked out of the theater 12.3 minutes into this pile of crap.

It has a few cute bits in it, unfortunatly, the cute bits are few and far between. Bonus cute ‘bits’ provided by Katherine Heigl.

Katherine Heigl

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Trying to loose weight

For those trying to watch their figure this holiday season, I’ve got the perfect appetite suppressant for ya.appetite suppressant

If thinking about Fish Head or Nutrious Young Pigeon Casserole doesn’t help curb your appetite, I’m sure Nutrious Beef Penis will – unless you’re in to that kinda thing… :: Shudder ::

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