I shot the sherrif, but I did not shoot the deputy…

Deputy Barney Fife dead at age 81 – I’m a broken man…

donknotts1donknotts2

His buddy Matlock – still alive. Stay tuned.

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Money makes the world go ’round…

Whoever the fuck said ‘Money doesn’t buy happieness’ was full of fuckin’ shit.

I’m sure some people can be financially destitute and still manage to crack a smile, but I’m pretty sure they aren’t really all that happy. Personally, I couldn’t imagine being truly happy without having a good amount of cash.

Why this sudden blah-blah about money? Well, I dunno – guess I’ve just been in such a good place financially in recent times, I’ve noticed just how much easier it is to smile. Not having to really think about where the money to pay the bills is coming from takes so much stress off a person.

So much of life is about bringin’ home the bacon I can’t imagin how someone could be really happy without cold hard cash to get rid of the stress.

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Some people should not be allowed to breed … Ever

So, my psuedo-friend, N., told me she might be pregnant a couple nights ago.

She can’t take care of herself very well, can hardly take care of her dog, lives in a studio the size of a walk-in closet, has a serious alcohol problem and is a bit less than stable (mentally, or in any other sense of the word).

It’s people like her that make forced sterilization sound like a fantastic idea.
dogcondom

See N. – They do make condoms just for you! I’m having a case of these shipped off to you in the morning.

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Dining on the toilet?

A friend of mine from Taiwan sent these over.

bathroom restaurant 1

I’m not sure where, exactly, this classy place is. I’m not sure I’d be able to eat here without feeling nauseous – at least you wouldn’t have to go far to worship the porcelaine.

bathroom restaurant 2bathroom restaurant 3

bathroom restaurant 4bathroom restaurant 5

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Happy Birthday Braille!

brailleThought all the drugs had finally started taking their toll when I dropped into Google for a search this morning. Turns out it’s just that Braille dudes birthday. Happy birtday braille dude.

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