Yes, thats right — my #1 candidate for forced sterilization, n. (archive) revealed to me that she is now in the family way… Yep, she’s up the duff… And she intends to keep it.

Now — All I have to say is WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU CAN RAISE A CHILD?!?

She’s a good kid, that n., but she was born without the ability to fully grasp reality. She lives in a world of her own, and it is NOT A SANE WORLD.

In her world she doesn’t understand that:

• you run out of chances and get evicted even if you tell your landlord that you’re really gonna try to make rent. After a year of not paying rent on time, and months of not paying rent at all, you’re gonna get thrown to the curb.
• when your train leaves at 5:00, it’s not going to wait for you to show up 5 minutes later… Even though the conductor knows you always ride that train, the 500 other people wanna get home.
• that something is on sale when it’s on sale, not two months later when you decide you wanna buy it. You can’t argue you should get the 20% discount because your dog had diarrhea that day.

Look people — I know that idiots have children every day, and I’m not even calling n. stupid… But she lacks the basic reasoning and survival skills required to take care of her self, much less take care of a child.

I can imagine the quote on the 10 o’clock news:

Well, I just don’t understand why my 4 month old is being taken away from me. I told her that she wasn’t allowed to crawl down Belmont Ave. by herself, after dark. It’s not my fault.

Listen, n., I can understand if you don’t wanna have an abortion — but girl, adoption is an option, and in your case I’m quite sure it’ll eventually be forced on you by the good people at the Illinois Department of Child Welfare. Please save your child from years of bouncing around foster homes or worse. Just for one iota of a second, have the common sense to understand that you’re practically homeless, you don’t have a Job, your now ex-boyfriend IS going to be a deadbeat dad, and you just don’t have the required skills to raise a child.

For fuckin’ cab fare.

I think this is the first time in my life I’ve spent more money on getting around to get drunk than I spent on getting drunk. I’m pretty sure I could have jumped a jet to Vegas for less.

Ah, the price we pay for having a good time and staying out of jail. A really good time.

Right now I’m so drunk and ecstatically happy that I’m not sure how to exactly describe it…it’s similar to being lit on fire, I suppose, if one could imagine such a thing.

Maybe it’s the company…

It’s that time of year again — Time for the SuperBowl. (what a stupid name for a sporting event … Unless we’re talking about competitive eating — but that’s not really a sport is it? Hrmph… That’ll have to wait for it’s own post).

It’s been 21 years since my home team has been in the NFL Championship game and, as much as I hate to admit it, I’m FUCKIN’ EXCITED! Go Bears! Thats all.